Eternity in motion

I used to be insane...
I used to see the light brighter than it was,
used to open my eyes and forget where i was...

I used to believe i was being chased,
used to believe my thoughts were being published by a worldwide
network of deceit and shame...

I used to not think,
just feel pure fear pumping through my veins,
eating my soul slowly in various and creative ways...

I used to believe i was dead,
a wandering spirit lost between confused dimensions,
that had no name...

I used to wonder around my mental prison,
screaming out to the world,
chants of hate, loath and pain....

I used to be a ghost,
that had no identity,
a blur of hopelessness,
just one strong desire of death...

Death didnt cross my path,
even though I tasted the guns metal tube,
slipping though my mouth while my heart raced itself to the end...

I used to sit in the toilet just to remember i was there,
used to look inside to remember i was still made of flesh....

I used to listen to strange noises,
that were never there,
where they just voices inside my head?

I used to think i was done,
that a white fluffy room was awaiting for me,
lingering its teeth to the mass that was left,
of the spirit lost within a majestic mess...

I used to be woken up by an electric stream,
that shook my soul and made my jaw clench,
and then miserably look at the ceiling,
without moving or taking a breath...

I used to feel pure loneliness,
not the one you feel while alone in your room,
but the type that tied yout throat in single knot,
and made you scream to the bones...

I used to feel detached,
from my own head,
from my own arms,
from my own soul,
looking for myself in a lost forgotten world,
that is generally tied down in scary beds in shady hospitals...

Now im "ok",
im back in the rat race,
diconnected from the bliss of insanity,
back in this train of lust and desire,
back to this world that lost its enchantment,
looking once again for the hidden truth,
searching thorough old books,
wondering where have we ended,
watching this strange machine that projects visions,
and i wonder....

and i wonder...

and i wonder...


Where are we heading?

I dream sometimes of bombs that anihilate the whole world,
leaving just an aboriginal tribe lost in the remanents of the amazon,


and starting all over again....



to reapeat this cataclysmical cycle,

of life

repentance,

and death.....

Peace